Finito la Commedia

People who make me want to secede from the Union – part II

It’s Not that We Hate Gay People…Um, Well…Yes, It Is

If your state has a “Defense of Marriage” amendment on the ballot and you’re considering whether to vote for it, you’re probably relatively centrist.

After all, if you hated the very idea of people who are different from you being in committed, loving relationships, you would just vote for the damn thing and hope that would put an end to it.

But if you’re on the fence, please consider this short post so you’ll know who you’re getting into bed with.

I don’t have much to say, except that I have never seen the anti-gay marriage folks state their true objectives so boldly.

Here are some actual quotes from the primarygroup promoting the “Defense of Marriage” amendment in Wisconsin, 2006 – the Family Research Institute and their spokesperson, Julaine Appling.

Julaine Appling - Proof that Satan has infiltrated the Christian church“I think we’ve been extremely tolerant in allowing [homosexuals] to live wherever they choose.”
   – Julaine Appling, Isthmus, September 9, 2005 [a Madison, Wisconsin alternative daily which does not take a position against the amendment]

“Society needs to control sexual activity,” she said. “Anytime that you have rampant sexual activity, with no prescriptions on it, society is headed for trouble.”
-Julaine Appling, Family Research Institute of Wisconsin, “Decision 2006: Wisconsin votes on Same-Sex Marriage,” KARE 11, October 23, 2006

Does that represent your view? If so,

Go Blue State Sesesh!


Hey straight guys: We’ve got your women!

Can’t you take them back??

Look. We’re serious here. We gay men are tired of all the straight women following us around and falling in love with us. We’re not interested, which can make for a pretty embarrassing situation. But we can’t seem to help it! We’re just so attractive, erudite, and interesting.

We could really use a little help here. It was kind of fun at first when women were so accepting of us. We share many of the same interests–fashion, decorating, literature, philosophy, hygiene, cleanliness, intelligent conversation, guys….

Why do we always have to be the ones who care about how we look? Why do we have to be the ones who dress nicely, decorate our homes attractively, and make an effort to be interesting conversationalists and caring partners? Why couldn’t you do any of that?

Weren’t you listening to “[Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout a] Sharp Dressed Man” by Z-Z Top?

Weren’t you paying attention to the “Best-Dressed Real Men in America” contest in Esquire? [May God bless you with the love of a thousand women (or men), Anthony Rogers!]
Chances are, you could if you gave it a little try. But…YOU’RE NOT WATCHING Queer Eye!

It’s not that we think you’re secretly gay. I mean, no one could seriously be convinced you were gay. Just look at you. Uggh.

No, common sense tells us that you’re not gay; you’re just not trying to attract women.

Yes, we really said that. And we’re right.

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