Finito la Commedia

Damn, that’s funny!

“Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.”

– Butch Hancock


Great Products!
June 3, 2007, 6:12 pm
Filed under: Comment, Commentary, Society, Super-Cool Stuff

So now I’m a shill for the big corporations. <wink>

But seriously – I’ve found quite a few great products in the last few months, so I thought I’d publicize them for your enjoyment/benefit. Here they are:

Curel Continuous Comfort Lotion

1) Curel Continuous Comfort lotion: available at major retailers

I’m not saying this is better than other lotions in the newly created “24 hour” group, but I do love this.

I’m very picky about lotion–I hate greasy lotions that stay on your hands, and I don’t remember to use lotion very often, so this is great. It rubs in quickly and lasts a long time. It has totally cured my dry skin. Awesome!

DHC Washing Powder

2) DHC Washing Powder: available at

I have problem skin. Yuck. I’m 37 and still get acne, although not nearly as bad as I did in law school–thank goodness!

Anyway, besides acne, I was also getting black dots (blackheads that are not pimples), whiteheads, congested pores (from using too much moisturizer or too thick of moisturizer), and large pores! I was starting to freak.

This is a powder (which makes it great for plain travel–no restrictions!), which you wet before use. It’s kind of like Woolite for your face. It has done a great job with the blackheads and whiteheads, although hasn’t affected the acne. The best part is, it has really refined my pores and made my skin look younger!

DHC is a Japanese skin care company recently come to America, and their stuff is generally available only through their catalog or Web site (they have one store in Southern California). They send out free samples and offer free shipping for orders of $75 or more. They even sell Japanese foods!

DHC Velvet Skin Coat

3) DHC Velvet Skin Coat: available at

Hey–what could be better? Velvet skin. Sounds awesome.

Actually, it is pretty great. I put it on my eyelids, below my eyes, and on my nose for a lovely skin texture and a natural “made up” appearance, and to control shine. It’s clear; not makeup. It makes a great base for eye makeup–using a base makes your eye makeup look fresher longer. If you use it on your whole face, your skin really will feel like velvet (although you can certainly tell there’s something there)! LOVE IT.

Keen's Honey Foam Bath

4) Keen’s Honey Foam Bath: available at Target and probably other places

This is from a South African company, which I kind of think is good. Crescit cum commercio civitas*, and all that.

Anyway, it’s pretty cheap for a bubble bath (about $10 where I live, for about 6 baths), and it does smell exactly like honey. Rich later. Yummy.

It does not, however, contain a great deal of honey, nor is it particularly “natural.” Your usual bunch of chemicals and fragrences. Honey is near the bottom of the list of ingredients. Still, awesome!

*For those who didn’t go to a republican college: “the commenwealth waxeth with commerce.”

Update: Gee, that SUV makes your butt look big! and other ideas from an evil genius

SUVs are only an attempt to make you look cool - not a success

Back when I originally wrote “Gee, that SUV makes your butt look big! and other ideas from an evil genius,” I included these fun pictures to further illustrate my point. Somehow, they got left out of the final post. Thought you’d enjoy this evidence of people’s real feelings about their SUVs:

SUVs make you look like you have a small dick and itty bitty ballsSUVs make you look like you're compensating

Compensating for something, are they?


Gee, that SUV makes your butt look big! and other ideas from an evil genius

Free to Copy - Gee, That SUV Makes Your Butt Look Big!

Here’s an idea I had. If there’s one thing some people are more afraid of than death and public speaking, it’s looking fat.

Why not use this fear for good and convince people that their bad behavior is what is really making them appear so rotund.

Please understand – I am not making a statement against fat people or fatness. I’m simply your run-of-the-mill evil genius who wants to manipulate people’s insecurity for the greater good.

Here are some other ideas:

When I was about 19, I came up with an idea to promote an unsubstantiated Internet rumor about a device, which was to be called the “Vagina Dentata,” that was now available to prevent rape.

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Updated: Live Free – or Die Horribly!

America's threat: Live Free or DIE!

I am finally ashamed to be an American. Ok, so a lot of you are probably thinking: What took so long?

In fact, so am I. However, it hasn’t so much been that I’ve been ashamed to be an American up until now; I’ve been ashamed that (presumably) a slim majority of our nation elected this government. Now, I’m really discouraged.

Since the Military Commissions Act of 2006 was passed on September 28th, I was very much disappointed to see that the front page story on both of my local newspapers was sports. Granted, our baseball won its division title in a sudden and exciting game, but really.

'Britain Forward not Back' by Chris Holden
What it comes down to for me is a simple proposition: we can’t trust this government — or perhaps any government — to tell us the truth.

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Updated: Has “executive” become synonymous with “parasite”?

America IS the Evil Empire

The following is a message sent to NPR’s Marketplace. They were requesting public comments to help them decide what to cover during election season.

What local or national issue do you find yourself talking about with friends and colleagues?
My friends, colleagues, and I are very concerned about executive pay. It seems to me that what has traditionally kept excessive executive pay in check was that the board of directors had to justify their actions to stockholders, some of whom were very active, owners of large blocks of stocks, or members of the board themselves.
As stock ownership has become more diffuse through the rise in popularity of mutual funds and 401(k) plans, whose managers  may not have the same proprietary interest or motivation to challenge directors’ actions, a power vacuum has arisen in the check against boards of directors.
I am an attorney (non-practicing) and business professional and, honestly, it is hard for me for me to think of anything a CEO or other executive could possibly do that would justify salaries in the multi-millions, especially when that is just the base rate of pay. I understand that many boards feel they must offer “competitive” compensation if they are to retain the most talented leadership, and since other companies are willing to pay these rates, the most competitive industries must do so in order to compete.
I think they are wrong. I think that the compensation for any employee, top to bottom, must relate to that person’s actual ability to increase profitability or maintain value.
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Hey straight guys: We’ve got your women!

Can’t you take them back??

Look. We’re serious here. We gay men are tired of all the straight women following us around and falling in love with us. We’re not interested, which can make for a pretty embarrassing situation. But we can’t seem to help it! We’re just so attractive, erudite, and interesting.

We could really use a little help here. It was kind of fun at first when women were so accepting of us. We share many of the same interests–fashion, decorating, literature, philosophy, hygiene, cleanliness, intelligent conversation, guys….

Why do we always have to be the ones who care about how we look? Why do we have to be the ones who dress nicely, decorate our homes attractively, and make an effort to be interesting conversationalists and caring partners? Why couldn’t you do any of that?

Weren’t you listening to “[Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout a] Sharp Dressed Man” by Z-Z Top?

Weren’t you paying attention to the “Best-Dressed Real Men in America” contest in Esquire? [May God bless you with the love of a thousand women (or men), Anthony Rogers!]
Chances are, you could if you gave it a little try. But…YOU’RE NOT WATCHING Queer Eye!

It’s not that we think you’re secretly gay. I mean, no one could seriously be convinced you were gay. Just look at you. Uggh.

No, common sense tells us that you’re not gay; you’re just not trying to attract women.

Yes, we really said that. And we’re right.

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